In the early days of this particular scriptural adventure, one of the things that kept leaping out at me was the difficulties I saw in attempting to fit the Bible into a box that seems to be particularly favoured by the more fundamentalist gatherings of Christians.
I know I'm not making them up, because I grew up with some of them. I knew people growing up who steadfastly refused to believe that dinosaurs existed because they weren't specifically mentioned in the Bible.
And that kind of thing gets you into trouble when paying close attention to the text as you work your way through it, not to mention that (I think) you lose out on an awful lot of the richness and fascinating background implications involved in the many tangential episodes that are liberally (see what I did there?) sprinkled in to the mix.
Balaam, for instance, falls in line with Melchizedek as apparent proof positive that while God was busy trying to herd the cats of Israel across the wilderness, He was also involved with other stuff that the Bible just doesn't get into. Unless the paths of the (for the sake of simplicity and context, two) narratives cross, like they do in Numbers 22-24.
Without much intro, suddenly the narrative shifts from Moses and Israel to the perspective of one of the local kings, nervously eyeing the 600,000-strong nation that has decided to set up camp right on his borders. Not without cause, either, since Israel had just finished stomping the Amorites...
Anyway, so out of nowhere, the king summons Balaam, who is a diviner and apparently some sort of general purpose curse-generator at the king's beck and call. But the thing is, Balaam and God are, apparently, already acquainted.
The whole side story, like that of Melchizedek, opens up a tantalizing window to the work that God's doing elsewhere in the world, other than what's actually being written down in the Bible. It's fascinating, and not a little humbling when you think about it.
For starters, Balaam initially refuses to go because God tells him not to. He's no slouch, it seems. Over and over again he refuses the king's summons, going to far as to say that even an entire house of gold and silver wouldn't get him to go. Eventually, God relents and tells him he can go to the King, but that he'd better not say anything other than the words God gives him.
Along the way we have the awesome talking donkey scene.
Yeah, that's the one.
Donkey sees angel. Donkey stops. Balaam beats donkey. Repeat three times until finally the donkey yells at Balaam and asks why he keeps hitting him. I can't see how it's anything other than hilarious, but maybe only if voiced by Eddie Murphy and Mike Myers.
The comedy doesn't end there, either. The king, who is desperate to curse the Israelite hoards, continues to trot Balaam around the countryside, trying to find, of all things, the correct vantage point from which Balaam will ignore God's commands and finally lay some serious curse on them.
I don't know about you, but I read the whole thing as played by Abbott and Costello.
The practical upshot of the whole thing is that the Israelites are thrice blessed by Balaam, and the king is sent away fuming, presumably still unaware that it was his own stupidity that got him so angry in the first place.
Anyway, here's the synopsis. It's not nearly as far off or comedically enhanced as you might think. Check, if you still don't believe me.
Balaam: I'm not going to curse them. God said not to.
King: Okay, just come here and see what happens.
Balaam: Bless those guys.
King: DAMMIT! I told you to curse them!
Balaam: I told you I wouldn't.
King: FINE. Let's go over to that cliff over there. Maybe then you'll actually curse them.
Balaam: I won't.
King: Here we are. Go up there and curse them.
Balaam: Bless those guys.
King (irate): WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!? That's TWO blessings now... JEEZ!
Balaam. I told you that's what I was going to do.
King: Do you think you'll be able to curse them if we're further west? We can go further West...
Balaam: Nope.
King: Let's go.
King: Alright, now, would you please curse the Israelites.
Balaam: No.
King: Just go up there and do your thing.
Balaam: Bless those guys.
King: I'm going to kill you.
Balaam: Why? I told you over and over again that I wasn't going to curse them. You just didn't listen. Now they're more blessed than I previously thought possible, and you're completely out of luck.
King - walks away in a huff.
Balaam - walks back to donkey, probably whistling.
Exeunt.
haha you were right about there being more story in Numbers. I don't even know that story. I did the Church thing until I was a teenager and now only sporadically, but that isn't one I recall.
ReplyDeleteYeah it's crazy. I figured it'd be nothing more than... well... numbers. Which it was, at the start, but it's picked up significantly since, I'm glad to say.
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