Num. 1-10 - On meeting expectations...

The readings - Days 42-46 - Numbers 1-10

I have good news and bad news.

The good news is that despite being 10 chapters into Numbers now, I'm still sticking with this reading-a-day plan, and it's looking good for me to actually follow through on something for once.

The bad news is that Numbers is exactly as excruciatingly boring as I had originally thought it would be.



I mean - come on! - an 89-verse chapter that almost entirely consists of the exact same six verses, repeated 12 times? You know who you are, chapter seven...

UNACCEPTABLE!!!

It's just not right. There are times when I've been really impressed with the form that some of the writing has taken so far in the OT, but this is just bad form.

Dustin Hoffman agrees...

In fact that in addition to being offensively boring, Numbers can just be straight-up offensive, too. Numbers 5 may be one of the most distinctly uncomfortable texts I've come across, and it's exactly the kind of thing that leads literalists with a completely un-nuanced approach to Biblical interpretation to look like asses to a culture that's already convinced Christians are closed-minded, misogynistic brutes.

Basically, whether a woman has actually committed adultery or not, if her husband suspects that she has, she's to be put before the priest who makes her drink muddy sludge "water of bitterness" that will curse her if she's guilty, making her "thigh waste away and her abdomen swell."

It all ends with the addendum, "moreover, the man will be free from guilt, but that woman shall bear her guilt." (5:31)

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It's late, and this stuff is boring when it's not irritating, so I'm going to close out there.

Other "highlights" of the opening 10 chapters of Numbers:

• detailed tribe-by-tribe census of all Israel's warriors
• specific instructions for how the 12 tribes are to be arranged in camp
• how much your firstborn is worth, sacrificially speaking
• specific duties of three subsections of the Levites
• A fairly context-less discussion on what's involved to become a Nazirite (which is...? They don't get to that)
• A constant reassertion that the Israelites definitely, 100%, absolutely, positively, completely and utterly did not break camp until God told them to by moving His cloud. (I'm not kidding - it reads like Monty Python - 9:15-23

Numbers, A.K.A. "The Book of Armaments"

This chunk does have one redeeming feature, however, and that's tucked away at the end of chapter 6.

"The LORD bless you, and keep you;

The LORD make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you;

The LORD lift up His countenance on you, And give you peace.'